Two weeks in to what appears to be a 3 month haul ( & here’s hoping thats the extent of it) and I have ridden the roller coaster for every day of it so far…. I am not alone… you are riding your own rollercoaster too. But while we are all taking this ride, the track it takes is different for everyone of us. Yes, there are the high speed corners, the gut wrenching dips, the sudden direction changes, and of the course the loop the loop that brings us back to the start again, our roller coasters are in a different theme park, following its own path.

And this is where the joyride gets dreary. Riding the roller coaster over and over on your own isn’t quite the thrill its supposed to be…

So two weeks into our current Covid-19 thrill ride, the adrenalin and fear is still there, but the expectation of what is come has just met reality… and it bites.

Reality Bites

The reality our current world is changing everyday. The twists and turns are not just happening out there in the bigger picture, they are happening in our homes and this is, for many, the more scary side of the ride. The reality of helping our kids learn from home while attempting to maintain some form of routine when your routine flew out of your fingertips the minute this rollercoaster started; working from home or somehow managing our kids while we head out to work, as you and they worry for your and their own safety; attempting to feed, care for and entertain your family all within confines of your walls, or in groups of two which for a lot of families is impossible); been thrust into the world of online teaching and learning (on both sides of the coin- as a mum and an educator) and coping with the input from 4 different schools all doing it differently; flailing through the myriad of online options for exercise and keeping your own sanity while maintaining your strength for your family; struggling or juggling financially as your income changes and you navigate the convoluted world of forms. facts, and figures in the online web that is said to hold us all together as all of this spins around us…. our worlds have been turned upside down… and it feels like we are carrying the weight of our world on our shoulders….

My ride this week has been a mixture of all of these things, and I have to say while my social media account might show someone who is all over this Covid-19 situation, I have to fess up… I have struggled … big time… and my guess is while we all make jokes about education from home, we waste time playing eye-spy on facebook, and post pictures of everything we a grateful for, our creativity or the life lessons at home with our children, there are many of us who have struggled… and who will continue to struggle , or who will hit the wall at sometime in this crisis.. Today I am here to say that you are not alone. I have been up, down, in tears, felt guilty and out of control, apologised in retrospect (and in advance) to the neighbors for my intermittent vocal parenting, worried for my family who is so far away and overseas, felt frustrated and angry with my working situation, felt helpless for my children who are truly missing their friends, sad for those I know who are laying to rest their loved ones without their loved ones near.

I tried it all… but I am still riding the roller coaster!

I have done ALL of the things that are recommended and suggested for SELF CARE at this time, and a lot of the things that are maybe not ideal but have helped me cope: I have exercised; stretched and done yoga; I have attempted relaxation ( but this is near impossible when at home with my kids, I can’t even go to the toilet without the “mum I need you” call and I know you all hear me on that); cooked healthy meals and snacks; called my family and contacted my friends; kept my distance from neighbors, workmates, and strangers as best I could; drowned my sorrows with too much alcohol; checked my phone and emails too often and at inappropriate times; gotten out of bed at 4 am because I cannot sleep due to my head ticking over with all of the things that I could or should be doing to help my family or my students through this mess; played games and spent time with my kids; taught them new skills and adjusted our at home routine trying to keep reasonable limits; I have been outside in the sunshine in nature; I have meditated and practiced deep breathing; attempted to keep my kids socially connected and keep a tap on their online use and screen time… I am still riding that roller coaster and I just want to get off, I have had enough!

So today, I have decided that I am not going to give the roller coaster another ticket.. it has to come to s stop at some point right… today I have decided what I am NOT going to do…

Today I realise have enough… I have everything I need to get through this day & to ride the roller coaster to the end… and at the end of this day I will have enough energy to get off this ride … just for a while so I can grab me some time to get a different ticket… and then tomorrow we will hit this theme park and find a different thrill ride to master…